My death began with a deafening crash
Oh my God oh my God what the fuck?
This isnt happening this is NOT happening
The sounds of our screams drown out the sounds of our radio
The car spins out of control
I Look down at my waist, no seatbelt; Im fucked.
In just 1 blink
New year new me became new year no me
What would become of the list I made
Of all the things I said I'd do someday
Just one question in my mind
Dear God why oh why?
I'm not ready - I
Had a plan
I know it's a big ask
just give me a chance
Perhaps the most disturbing thought of all
Who will be with my children when they get the call
Who will hold them when they cry
Answer confused questions like
Why isnt Mommy coming home tonight?
Will she come home to tomorrow then?
Ok if not tomorrow then when?
I never got to read that bed time story to my daughter
Or watch that movie with my sons
I'd give anything for one last hug
I'd hold them one last time and tell everything will be alright.
On that freeway
Robbed me of my life, stole away my last goodbye
Inside me rises a deep rage
Not at the driver that hit me but at myself
For all the 15 hour workdays
The missed tryouts,ballgames, and birthdays
Too busy making money
To make time for children, siblings and friends
And I couldn't bring it with me in the end
Too busy making a living to live.
My car barrels towards that wall at increasing speed
I reach for the love of my life
I put my arms around him one last time
I'll protect his body with mine
I'm not ready I didnt have enough time
I need more time please give me more time
Bright light all around
Bright flashlight in my eyes
"JULEEN!! JULEEN!! can you hear me? Do you know where you are? You were in an accident tonight you were hit by a drunk driver you are lucky to be alive."